Love Behind Bars

So, I am back on this Jewish dating site which shall remain nameless (but come on, we all know what site I'm talking about...and if not, just go back and read the rest of my blogs, and it shall become clear.)

Lesson #1 in online dating: You gotta put a little effort into it. Thus, I put up what I think are some pretty darn good pictures, I am working on some cute-yet-smart essays that encapsulate me in 100 words or less. (Yup, it's like I'm applying for a scholarship. Ph.D. in Jewish Anatomy, perhaps?)

Lesson #2: You MUST have an open mind and a positive attitude. (Hmmm....maybe that's lessons 2 and 3? Whatev.)

I admit, I get a little flutter when I get an email from this site telling me that they've found a good match for me. So, here's how it goes: I click on the guy to see what sort of hunk they think is deserving of me...

And that's when I realize that this site knows me about as well as my therapist...NOT. AT. ALL.

I'm reading through the guy's profile, he seems intriguing...then I read, 'some problems...,' 'crime...,' 'prison term.' Prison term?

Yes, that's right, HE JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON. I'll say it again. PRISON!!!

Now look, I am not looking for a prince to come riding up through the surf on a white stallion with wind gently caressing his hair (although I wouldn't kick that guy outta bed)... I just want someone who doesn't have a criminal record.

Prison, people. PRISON.
Am I wrong to want to be more than somebody's conjugal visit?

My barista...My beloved.

My friend gave me a Starbucks gift card for my birthday, so I've been indulging in high-end caffeine fulfillment, at least for the duration of the card's limit. (During these trying economic times, I have been discovering the joys of 7-11...aka low-end coffee.)

I know I'm far from the first single girl (or non-single girl) to say this, but...I have a MEGA-crush on my barista. He is beyond adorable, and because I'm back at the 'bucks recently for like the first time in a really long time, he is showering me with love and affection. (or, at least, this is what I'm seeing through my coffee-goggles.)

You know, he's taking extra care to make sure my drink is perfect, asking me questions about my life...basically everything I could possibly hope for in a man. Today, he asked about my weekend, and I almost jumped over the counter and mounted his coffee-stained apron.

PLUS, he always calls me by my name, which is truly amazing since he hasn't seen me in a year. (F-ing economic crisis.)

So, do you agree with me? A man who knows your coffee order...knows your heart.

(F-ing coffee goggles.)

The Day I lost TV- Digital TV switch

On June 12th 2009 everyone switched to Digital TV except for me....I had bunny ears and a VCR...ahhhhh

My crush is some kind of wonderful!

It's like passing notes and slumber parties all over again.

There is nothing like that great crush. Being an adult and having a middle school crush is the best.

When I was in Middle School, I had many crushes. So much time an energy was thrown into my undying love of these pre-pubescent boys. It was fun to giggle with your friends about this true love during the day and wait for the boys to call at night. This is how I spent middle school. Now, if we look closely, we see all my crushes were gay, but right now I am looking with rose colored glasses and fond memories.

So the acne is gone, I am no longer taking algebra, but ahhh the thrill of the crush still excites me. I have a crush now and love it!

I woke up, drove to the gym all while thinking of kissing this new object of my affection. I ran 3 miles without knowing it. Came home. Got dressed and was at work on time all while thinking of my crush.
Ok, so here is the deal..I need to be an adult and actually confront my crush. Tell him my feelings...see if there is potential. But really, I just want to sit and doodle his name with my gel markers and tape his basketball picture on my trapper keeper.

I voted in person for the first time!

Since I have always voted absentee ballot...I have never had the chance to walk in and vote. Well today changed all that. I was so excited. I woke up at 5:45AM, got dressed, and drove over to the church down the street. There were about 100 people in line ahead of me at 6:45AM and it was RAINING (I know, California...what's up?)

I took my trusty clear swatch umbrella and stood in line. Going over my sample ballot, making sure I knew my props....really it was very magical. My favorite moment was just before I made it inside, my friend Greta from NY texted "I just changed America."

I teared up.
I voted!
My chads were not hanging!
It was a glorious day!

I think I'm in love....

I miss bread!

It's official. I have not had a piece of bread in 170 days.
(The piece of bread I ate to soak up the vodka in Vegas doesn't count..since I don't remember that night at all!)

I miss it. I miss the grains, and the flour, and the soft yummy goodness that a good piece of bread brings.

In my fantasy I would live in a house made of focaccia and eat my way out of it.

Right now, I would parade up and down Ventura Boulevard without my shirt for a good piece of Challah!

At this moment, if I had to choose between Obama, McCain, or seven grain...I choose seven grain.